Thursday, March 09, 2006

Getting married?

Are You Thinking About MARRIAGE?

If we compare the global divorce phenomenon to an earthquake, the United States would be at the epicenter. In a recent year, more than one million marriages were terminated there—an average of two every minute. But you may well be aware that the United States is hardly alone in its marital misery.

ACCORDING to one study, the divorce rates in Canada, England and Wales, France, Greece, and the Netherlands have more than doubled since 1970.

We have every reason to believe that most couples enter wedlock because they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Sadly, however, the dream of a happy marriage often proves to be just that—a dream. Upon waking up to reality, many have said that they married too soon or married the wrong person or both.

Why do so many marriages fail? "The main reason is a lack of preparation," says the author of a book about courtship. She adds: "As I deal with couples in the throes of marital distress two feelings engulf me—compassion and anger. I feel compassion because they have not discovered their dreams for a mutually satisfying relationship. I feel anger because of their ignorance regarding the complexity of the task."

Indeed, many enter marriage with little or no idea of how to make it succeed. Yet, this is hardly surprising. One educator observed: "How many of our youth go through college studying about the behavior of rats and lizards, but fail to learn about the behavior of two people called husband and wife?"

Are you thinking about marriage—either about a possible future marriage or about that marriage you are in now? If so, you should be aware that a real-life relationship is far different from that depicted in movies, on television shows, and in romance novels. At the same time, the marriage of two mature people who are truly in love may be considered a blessing from God. (Proverbs 18:22; 19:14) How, then, can you be sure that you are prepared to meet the demands of marriage? What factors should you consider in selecting a mate? Or if you are already married, how can you increase the likelihood of finding lasting happiness in your marriage? The next article in this series answers these important questions.

Succees in marriage, possible?

Why marriages fail?Here are the reasons:

Money: "One might imagine that budgeting would help unite a couple through the necessity of working together, pooling their resources for the basics of living, and enjoying the fruits of their labors. But here, too, what could bond a couple in a joint venture often serves to separate them."—Dr. Aaron T. Beck.

Parenthood: "We've found that 67 percent of couples experience a significant drop in marital contentment after their first child is born, and there is eight times more conflict. This is partly because parents are tired and don't have a lot of time for themselves."—Dr. John Gottman.

Deceit: "Infidelity usually involves deceit, and deceit, pure and simple, is a betrayal of trust. With trust identified as a crucial component in all successful long-term marriages, is it any wonder that deceit can wreak havoc on a marital relationship?"—Dr. Nina S. Fields.

Sex: "By the time people file for divorce, sexual deprivation of many years' standing is shockingly common. In some cases the sexual relationship was never established, and in others, sex was mechanical, merely a vent for one partner's physical needs."—Judith S. Wallerstein, clinical psychologist.

My marriage with Michel is strong as ever. See the principles applied in: Ecclestiastes 4:9-12
what consists a threefold cord? Do you know?

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